Summer Memories of the Drive in

title?
Summer days turned into dusk when nightfall would begin;  <strong opening line<good rhythms
it was time  to beg our mom about seeing a movie at the drive in   <if you're going to use punctuation, you need to follow the rules, so be consistent throughout
We sat in the cool summer shade
while calls to the relatives in the house were being made.   <end rhymes: didn't I say something about this already?  If not contact me:)
Slowly Like a _________ the screen door opened and Mom came out and one look at her face and we knew they were coming then begin to dance and shout. <they? who?< plus, awkward line<read out loud

We need to get ready to be there by eight   <shift in tensefor the cartoon previews we did not want to be late.
There were so many things to do  the car needed to be well stocked
pillows for our comfort were a necessity our parents should not be shocked.   <watch run-ons, for they impact clarity<
Dad would remind us that we would be coming back
but we knew there were special things we needed to pack.   <back/pack: read my mind:)
One last phone call to let them know we are on the way  way/day    <also, try using full sentences; this will add strength and clarity to your incomplete lines
a wonderful ending to a perfect summers day.
I like that you're telling a story, Melissa, but basic English correctness issues are getting in the way of clarity.  Advice: proofread out loud.  Gary


Revised:

Summer Memories

By: Melissa White

Summer days turned in to dusk when nightfall would begin;

It was time once again to beg our mom about a drive in movie

We sat in the cool summer night breeze

Waiting while calls to the relatives in the house were being made

Hoping that they would say yes to a drive in movie

A crash from the screen door as it closes and Mom comes out

One look on her face and we knew the relatives were coming

We dance and jump all about, excitedly

We will need to be ready; be at the movies by eight

 The family doesn’t want to be late we will hurry and pack the car

There are many things to do; the car needs to be well stocked, pillows and big blankets for our comfort

Dad reminds us that we will be coming back

Our last phone call to let them know we are on the way and will meet them there

A wonderful and  fun, ending to a perfect summers day